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Chilling Look Into Your Kids' Online World

Connecticut State Trooper Samantha McCord says your kids' online behavior could be dangerous, even criminal - and could bring the police to your doorstep. Or worse.

Your children could be criminals, right now.

That's one of the strong messages Connecticut State Trooper Samantha McCord conveyed Tuesday at the Leonard J. Tyl Middle School, in Part I of a two-part series on cyber safety. About 50 people – including administrators, parents and children – attended the event, which was put on by Montville schools in partnership with the Montville Police, Youth Services, and Parks and Recreation.

McCord specializes in internet crime. She is stationed in Meriden, with the Connecticut State Police Compute Crimes and Electronic Evidence Unit, and cyber crime is her focus.

The cyber-bullying statute is long and complex, but its main point of it is that if your kids use the internet inside or outside of school to taunt someone, they are committing a crime, McCord says.

And that means that the police could show up at your house, search it, make arrests and take all your computers and online devices.

To see the entire law, click on the pdf in the photo box. To hear an explanation of it, and specific cases of bullying, click here to go to the Connecticut Commission on Children’s page about the law.

 

JENNIFER AND BILL CLARK, and the Kury family – Cassie, Chris, 9-year-old Sawyer and 12-year-old Samuel – came to the event to raise their awareness.

The Clarks’ eldest child is 13, and Jennifer says, “It’s a different world, and I want to learn what to watch out for.”

Their children know that since the parents are paying for the online stuff, they have the right to check it all.

Cassie Kury says she wanted to come “to keep up with the ever-changing times of the cyber world that they can easily obtain access to.

“It’s important that we’re one up,” she says, adding that her kids do not go online without one of the parents monitoring.

Would Samuel do different things if his parents weren’t watching?

Yes, he says, nodding. Yes.

 

HERE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS that McCord says Connecticut kids are doing on line right now:

  • Harassing
  • Intimidating
  • Intimidating with bigotry
  • Breaching the peace
  • Criminal impersonation
  • Sexting

Criminal impersonation, McCord explains, is when a kid starts an email account or a Facebook or Twitter page – or establishes any online presence – and pretends to be someone else. Usually, the person being impersonated is a teacher or adminstrator. Then, in the guise of that specific other person, the kid harasses or taunts someone.

“They’re not your lovable kids when they’re online,” McCord says.

 

IF YOUR CHILD IS ON LINE, she says, and has been in a chat room for more than a few minutes, your child has been approached by an online predator. The predator could be an adult, or could be a child just a few years older than yours. But no mistake about it, someone has approached your kid with the hope of getting sex, at least.

In her work, McCord takes on the persona of a 14-year-old girl.  Her “Abbie,” a persona she used recently, was the target of six to 10 adult males, she says, who arranged to meet her and were subsequently arrested.

“If your kid has ever been in a chat room,” she says, “he or she has been talked to illicitly.”

 

SEXTING is a huge problem, McCord says, and relates terrible stories of kids who committed suicide after being caught up in sexting scandals. Sexting is taking still pictures or videos of yourself naked, and texting or sending them to your friends.

Not only can sexting bring up or shed light on moral and ethical problems, but it can also end up in a charge of child pornography – for the sender or the recipient. McCord tells stories of recent arrests of high school kids in Texas, who were involved in sexting. A recent survey found that 20 percent of teens admit to sexting.

 

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

  • Be vigilant. Watch your kids while they are on line. Move the computer to a place where it’s easy for you to monitor it – and then do monitor it. Snoop. Friend your child on Facebook, sign up to follow him on Twitter or Foursquare or whatever social media he or she uses.
  • Install spyware on all the devices in your child’s life.    
  • Change the privacy settings on his Facebook page so that the page is not public.
  • Go through his Friend list and cull it so that only people you and he know are on it.
  • Disable Tags and Check-in
  • Remove or disable webcams, if possible.
  • Talk with your children about the consequences of bad online behavior, not only for them but for you. Make sure they understand that their activity could bring criminal charges, and that what they post on line can follow them for the rest of their lives, up to and including college and job interviews.

 

KIDS CAN FIGHT BACK, TOO. McCord says that she is seeing kids “take back the Net.” They don’t like the cyber bullying, the sexting, the impersonation, the online presence of stalkers.

  • Print out the Facebook page or chatroom dialogue that scares you and show it to someone.
  • Put it in a teacher’s or principal’s or counselor’s mailbox if you have to.
  • Email an adult who can help – even if you feel the need to use an anonymous email to tip off that adult.
  • Tell your parents. (Parents, if you are worried about your child, talk to his or her best friend. If you’re worried, McCord says, chances are that that friend is worried, too – and often, she or he will open up to you).
  • Tell a teacher, guidance counselor, coach, someone you trust.

Parents who want to know more, or want to be involved in the parent-only session should contact the office of the superintendent at 860-848-1228.

Mark T. Kalinowski May 09, 2012 at 11:48 AM
Great story and advice. Staying involved is the key to everything in a parent/guardian & child relationship.
REVMAN May 09, 2012 at 12:41 PM
Looks to me that the parents don't care by the emptyness of the room.
Carrie Jacobson May 09, 2012 at 01:58 PM
One of the parents brought this up - that the parents who weren't in the room were really the ones who should have been there.
Carrie Jacobson May 09, 2012 at 01:58 PM
Thanks, Mark! That is exactly what Trooper McCord said
Heather Harrison May 09, 2012 at 04:57 PM
There used to be a time when you could get away from bullying. But it's not that way anymore. For kids that are being bullied, it now follows them home and everywhere because so much of the bullying happens online. Lots of kids turn to drastic measures to either protect themselves or hurt themselves. It is so tragic. I talk about online bullying and suicide here: http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/05/02/online-bullying-and-teenage-suicide/
McGruff SafeGuard May 10, 2012 at 12:31 AM
If you are looking for full parental control that monitors & controls everything kids do online (including Facebook) , as well as blocks inappropriate websites, and does linguistic analysis to watch out for dangerous behavior - such as internet predators or cyberbullys - check out McGruff SafeGuard's Parental Control system: http://www.GoMcgruff.com You may remember McGruff “The Crime Dog” - Take A Bite Out of Crime - from your own childhood For FREE iPad/iPhone parental control, check out http://www.GoMcGruff.com/browser
kahl May 14, 2012 at 10:27 PM
i think we should just start jailing the kids now! they obviously are incapable of making rational decisions and they should thus be punished! every single child i have met online has harassed me repeatedly and bullied me! the words of a 12 year old cut deep, even to this 54 year old man! they call me creepy and a faggot just for asking how many of them liked big bananas! kids these days! you cant have a simple discussion on fruit anymore.

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