Sandwich Generation

I have it easier than most. I am a nurse, sister, mother of three, a wife to a supportive husband and a daughter of a independent but aging parent. I have many years of experience being the role of a caregiver to my patients and my children but have recently acquired the role of health care agent/caregiver for my mother.

The nation’s millions of baby boomers are not the first adults to care for their aging parents. But they are the first generation to care for parents who are living longer with more chronic medical conditions — and often far from their grown children.

More than 43 million Americans provide care for someone older than 50 who is aging or disabled, including 15 million who care for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or some form of memory loss. Nearly 1 in 10 women ages 45 to 56 is a member of the “sandwich generation,” taking care of an aging parent and her own children at the same time, according to a 2006 report from the Department of Labor.

I am  still fortunate at this point that my mother is lucid, independent and able to care for her person and property with some help. But, as chronic health conditions worsen her need for assistance from family or outside resources is increasing.

Now is the time to communicate with your parent THEIR plans for THEIR future, I have compiled a list of questions and tasks to start the transition and break the ice:

• What are your parents' wishes?
• What did they envision their later years to be like?
• Do they want to remain in their home? Retirement center? Assisted living? 

Start by gathering information and keeping it organized via folder, notebook or computer.

• What are their illness's chronic and acute?
• Who are their physicians?

Compile a list of all medications, prescribed and over the counter and carry it with you.

Have your parents make a list of their monthly expenses with whom and how much is needed.

Gather names and phone number of parents friends and neighbors. 

If able, attend a physicians appointment with your parent and ask questions if allowed.

Again, this list is just a beginning, but it is a start without taking away any independence.