Using your parental "vision" can be difficult at times.

While reaching into my jewelry box to locate a missing back to my earring I had an epiphany.   I had been searching for my glasses which would help me see the tiny and delicate backings that were located somewhere in that cluttered box.  As I searched with my dulled vision, it came to me. Why is it that the older we get the better our “vision” becomes?  

Now, I’m not really talking or thinking about the actual acuity of our eyesight.  No, it hit me that our perspective,  our ability to be able to spot trouble or situations that we should steer clear of or things that will just turn out bad, this improves quite a bit the older we get.  This is especially true if you are a parent… especially the parent of a teen.

No matter the age of the child – your “vision” becomes so much clearer when it concerns your child.  We can sense the dangers and pitfalls that await them in this big old world.  When they are little it is “stranger danger” or the “don’t run with scissors” phenomenon.   

As they get older our concerns grow as their world becomes bigger and yes, our vision develops even more!  We can spot “trouble” from a mile away: the wrong friend, dating the wrong person, making poor choices that could potentially have lasting consequences.  Although our vision is clear as a bell in these circumstances we still sometimes have to allow our child an opportunity for their own “vision correction.”

Yet, it is difficult when we see the speeding train coming down the tracks and our first response is to push them out of the way of the oncoming disaster.  It is a delicate balance of allowing them to make choices and accept the consequence or trying to lend them our “glasses” so they can see the mistakes they are about to make.

No, parenting isn’t an easy job.  Anyone who has tried it will attest to that!  We were all young once and for sure our parents had to come to terms with choices that we were to make along our path of life.  Experience is life’s greatest teacher.  The Irish novelist, James Joyce said: “A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.”  I hope I can allow my children to discover the wonderful “vision” they will enjoy when they reach parenthood.

Now… where did I put those glasses?

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Debbie Ingoglia February 22, 2012 at 02:20 PM
Great "insight". Yes, it is hard to know when to stop hovering and assisting. We sometimes forget that they are getting older, to let them stand on their own and learn to make decisions. Sometimes you shake your head and wonder what they were thinking when they made some decisions - but sometimes your floored and beam with pride with other choices and actions that they take. At times our vision can take be one dimensional - our focus fixed on the target (our children). Growing up I often wondered why my mom did the things she did - but when my daughter had to write an essay on someone they admired and she wrote it on her grandmother - I then saw my mom threw my daughters eyes. There are plenty of times that we can get frustrated at our children and wonder how will they make it in this world. But then a teacher, parent, coach....comes up to you to complement you on your child, their strenghts, their caring spirit, their ability to go beyond with out being asked - all this when you are not around guiding their path - and you know you have done your job and know that eventhough you might not see it the same way the outcome will make you proud. About those glassses - did you check the fridge?


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