Teaching Male National Identity in Early America: The Parents' Role, Part 2

Parents had the most important role in teaching their male children perceived “American” character. To this end, the parental sphere of educating boys and young men as patriotic, virtuous citizens of the Early Republic separated into the paternal and maternal realms.

This is especially true of this period as Luther S. Luidtke wrote in Making America, the Society and Culture of the United States,  “when manners became a national problem and some argued, a national achievement” to be realized.   These manners included a “pleasing manner, proper dress, refined table manners, careful personal hygiene, disciplined language, repudiation of cruelty, special consideration shown to women, the elderly and children.” 

Early American writers such as Lydia Child, John Abbott, and John Angell James produced literature for both parents and children to assist in the child rearing. These authors agreed that the mother’s role directly influenced behaviors that were fitting to societal expectations of America’s newest citizens.  John Abbott believed, the father served as an example of what the young men should strive to imitate. Nevertheless, both parents were to work concordantly for the utmost benefit of the child.

Society in general had certain presumptions that these young males would treat their parents and others with obedience as well as with the element aforementioned manners.  Moreover, historian Ann Kuhn asserted in The Mother’s Role in Childhood Education: New England Concepts, the family “owed to the larger community, to the nation itself” that moral training was only “second to securing the redemption of the child.”  This moral training fell upon the mother “to act as the main agency” for establishing the character of their male children.

A critical value for young American males was their attitude toward their mother. Abbott wrote in 1833 that a son should be obedient and grateful, especially to his mother. “He will never let her have a single want which he can prevent.  And when he grows to be a man, he will give her the warmest seat by his fire-side and the choicest food upon his table.  If necessary, he will deprive himself of comforts, that he may cheer her declining years.” 

Abbott emphasized his point by stating that “the son who does not feel thus, is unworthy of a mother’s love; the frown of his offended Maker must be upon him and he must render to Him an awful account for his ungrateful conduct.”  Abbott’s point that the mother must be cherished is indicative of many books published during the Early Republic period regarding the subject of filial duties.  By learning to cherish the mother, the boy additionally gained empathy for women but still retained his patriarchal views.

Corroborating Abbott’s views, James, too, reiterated the importance of duty to the child’s parents but with harsher consequences.  “Perhaps there is no duty, the obligations of which are more generally acknowledged, than filial piety; none which, in the performance, yield greater  pleasure, no which, if neglected brings a more severe or righteous retribution.”  He further expressed the outcome produced if the child did not follow the correct course of action including the effect on a national basis which would be disastrous for all citizenry.

"All nations, however sunk in barbarism or elevated by science, have admitted the strength and justice of parental claims; and the unhappy youth who resists them, stands convicted, condemned and reprobated before the tribunal of the work.  On the other hand, an eminently dutiful child is an object of delight, admiration and esteem…he goes through society surrounded by glory."

The mother played a key role in the formation of character traits among boys and children, especially with an emphasis on obedience. Author Lydia Child penned her book with mothers specifically in mind.  She wrote, “The first and most important step in management [of children] is, that whatever a mother says, always must be done.”  Child added that “The necessity of obedience early instilled is the foundation of all good management, If children see you governed by a real which for their good, rather than by your own selfishness, or capricious freaks, they will easily acquire this excellent habit.”

By exacting obedience from the child, the formation of suitable traits became easier to reconcile with him. An essential trait included a sense of reciprocity to others, not simply parents but society in general.  Abbott stated that, “The benevolent man is a cheerful man.  These feelings are worth cultivating, for they bring with them their own reward.”  Combining this benevolent spirit with an amicable disposition and humility would create a virtuous man.  Thus, to “cultivate [these] virtues [will] prepare you for usefulness and happiness in your maturer years.” 

Simultaneously, both parents had an obligation to provide a “well-managed home” so that children would develop the abilities to think, judge and act for themselves, in short be, “individuals capable of responsible self-direction.”  Referencing self-direction, early American authors Abbott and James asserted the indispensability of industry versus idleness. 

In this regard, the task fell upon the father to assist his son in being industrious.  James wrote, “The good, sound common sense of mankind will never annex character to a useless life.  He who merely hangs as a burden on the shoulders of his fellow men, who adds nothing to the common stock of comfort, and merely spends his time devouring it, will be invariable, as well as justly, account a public nuisance.”  Moreover, when the boy becomes a man, he will be rewarded for his industry with “a cheerful home and esteemed by all who know him.”

Next: Part 3:  Teaching Male National Identity in Early America: Honest Young Men and Religion