Big Brother, Twister, Project Runway

Big Brother, 9 p.m., CBS

You know what? They have electricity in the Big Brother house. They have hot water, and a stocked refrigerator and cold beer. They can flip a light switch and have the light actually come on (as opposed to me, who keeps flipping light switches and nothing happens). I would move into the Big Brother house right now if they let me. That’s how much I miss my electricity.

Twister, 8 p.m., TNT

This is the one with Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton and the flying cow. You realize in the last week we had hurricanes, tornadoes and an earthquake, right? The Onion had a really funny take on all that.

Project Runway, 9 p.m., Lifetime

I am SO FAR BEHIND. Do not tell me anything. My two weeks off I did not watch and then this – tonight – I still have no power, so DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HAS HAPPENED. Tonight, “The designers must work with art students to create a piece of art that will serve as the inspiration for their next garment.”