There are many stereotypes about homeschoolers. Though most are not true, we genuinely earn some of them.

One of those is that homeschoolers are socially awkward geeks. Yup, that pretty much sums it up, at least in my case.

You know how some girls react to Justin Bieber? I react in a similar way to Charles Dickens and Masterpiece Theatre and Greek epics. I’ve been known to swoon over grammar. Prairie Home Companion has been my favorite since, like, junior high. I laugh at linguistic jokes. My favorite? Winston Churchill’s secretary rabidly corrected his dangling participles, constantly sending memos back with corrections. Finally, Churchill sent him a memo that read, “This is something up with which I shall not put!” That gets me rolling every. Single. Time.

I’m aware there are readers out there who didn’t get that joke. My husband would be one of them. But that’s OK, because he’s gifted in other ways, namely being Joe Cool. He went to auto mechanic school. He’s the life of the party. The employees at Home Depot, Auto Zone and Subway know him by first name.

The only place where they know my first name is the library.

So yes, this literary geek who took a semester of post graduate classes in linguistics FOR FUN is married to a grease monkey*. The Fonz married Mary Catherine Gallagher.

My kids will get any social awkwardness they have from me, poor things. Academically, I did just fine in school. Socially, not so much. I’ve always been a nerd.

I don’t know why. My brother and sister are very hip. I guess being the oldest all the nerd genes pooled to me, and they got off scot free.

Despite the genetic tendencies from me, we have little to fear in the arena of dorkiness. My husband is the social gauge in this house. He points out when something needs to be adjusted or addressed. “Did you see him just walk down the hall? He wasn’t swinging his arms. We have to work on that.” “Don’t tuck in sweatshirts.” “Your pants are hiked too high. Pull them down like this.” “Don’t laugh like that. Someone will punch you.”

My nerdiness requires a great deal of personal editing. Although I am tempted to gush about curriculum and grammar and my favorite books at social gatherings, I realize this isn’t the way to make friends, so I stay quiet. I don’t know what else to talk about. My husband usually swoops in to save the day, talking about interesting things like his work, his life adventures, the '80s.

So there is hope for my children. Their mom may have not one clue about social mores, but their dad? He’s too cool for school.

*I have been schooled in the appropriate usage of 'grease monkey' and have been released by a 'grease monkey' to use this phrase, only in reference to him.